where'd the wagon go?

i fell off so far back ago that i don't even see the wagon anymore.  you know how it's supposed to go, fall off the wagon and then you get back on.  well, i don't even know where the wagon went.

so i hitched a ride on a random-wagon.  maybe it's a new one that i built myself, maybe it's a metaphoric or quantum-physical kind of wagon?  maybe it's imaginary?  it's real enough that i'm on it, i feel that i'm on it, so it has to be real.  a kind-of wise-man told me the day before yesterday that perception is reality.  so this wagon o mine is definitely real, so i'm beyond perceiving it, so it's beyond reality then.  that is so deep.  that's how my waggin rolls.  it's real!

so now that i'm here, i have the same goals as before.  i'm just not moving ahead very well.  focus!  ~on one thing that is.  i have thoughts about a short film, very short 0 budg'.   but it seems really interesting, at least interesting to work on, especially with all these awesome programs that i have!  updating my blogs..err....updating my site...err, don't go there yet.  maybe if i re-pay for my hosting i'll be more prone to updating since my ads will be gone.  i just feel like re-doing the whole thing, but you know there's like 10years of material in there.  i've had that site up since....2001?  man.  maybe 2002.

painting has taken priority seating, but the prob is that most nights i'm worn out!  bad excuse, but setting up and breaking down are a little time-consuming, and by the time family stuff is done, it's about an hour before i have to get up and go do everything again, and really, during that (literal) hour of silence, i wanna lay it horizontal because a preggo person is def a tired person, esp w/a hubs and a 16monther running around.  literally.  running.  around.  running around.  running all around.  seems like he's never, never stopping.  so how to solve this dilema?  crack it one code at a time?  and when does gaming come in?  i just bought this DS and like 10 fresh games ready to be saved up.  and persona is waiting on the PSP and this weekend is COD double XP and the new maps come out next week.  i guess it's priorities.  and chipping away, cracking those codes.