The Process

Obviously, things haven't been working out for me, artistically. I've been thinking a lot about it, but hardly getting a thing done.i spoke to a good friend today,a writer friend, and the convo was really helpful. He's written, to me,a ton of screenplays. I'm more of a novelist, but his words still very much applied. See, my issue is starting,i get defeated very easily by my work, at least in recent years.  He (cb) told me about another friend of his and how disciplined she was...we spoke about her for a while &i was very impressed. All details aside, her effort is the shining star, not anything else at this point in the work. And that's the battle.

So, let's see what I make.you guys hold me accountable ok? No more discouragement because I don't look like italian baroque (yet) or that i'm not some literally genius (yet? Haha) like the murakami-sans...

I'm me, and i WILL push fresh work!

p e r f e c t o (?) m u n d o

a few years ago, a friend...an artist friend and i, were talking about artistic processes. how very talented and creative people often have a whole lot of ideas, and that the key for these types of people was to concentrate on one thing at a time.  

i'm not saying that i'm uuber talented or creative, but the advice was for me because i was having such a hard time developing a collective, and more importantly, completed body of work.  

that was over 7 years ago.  and i'm still having the same problems now.  i have a list of written work, illustrated work, illustrated written work, painting ideas, video ideas, short film ideas...to do, and that i want to do.  i even have motive.  that it could really be a nice body of work which represents my new portfolio.  and that could be my way to having more commissions or freelance jobs, things like that.  which i'd like....i think it'd be productive and interesting.  

so i have this list of things to do, but it's like i don't know where to start, or maybe i just don't want to start at all?  i can't figure it out.  and when i'm working on one thing, it feels like i'm wasting my time, like if i'm not doing everything at once, i'm not getting enough done.  

however, the biggest challenge is that i want everything to be perfect.  like if the story doesn't sound like murakami or nabokov (not like, but as good) then i'm over it.  if my painting doesn't look like baroque, i'm over it.  

i guess, by rereading this, that i need to have an end-point in mind.  a point to the piece that i'm working on, a vision of what it is when it's finished.  

a solution!  that's exciting...and