yeah, so you finished a book, so what? now it's time for a nigg to revise this ess. maybe it won't be too bad. really i don't think it'll be bad at all...i'm just nervous!
so much ess is happening, i'm gonna blend some personal s in here. see, my ex is with someone, but i just told him that the truth that's been for like years now. but i'm trying to get out of here to japan. which is another thing. but now, i'm like, hey, it's you and me, remember? and i don't know what's exactly up over there with them and so that's a little unnerving. but it's also a big taste of my own because i did the same to him a few times. but i didn't know he wanted me like that! man. so much we never spoke about, now it's biting us. or at least it's biting me. this sucks!
and so japan. all these new theories are swimming around my head, i guess it's just part of this kind of territory, leaving your home (country) and seeing all the paths you could take, doubting the one you decided on. there we have it people...thank you. thank you for helping me see what i already decided on and remember what i already know. i'm going to go back and bold this s.
see, all that up there is what makes me so nervous sometimes. it' s not that i'm nervous, it just makes me nervous....like physically jittery. it's kind of cool though, it's kind of like an amusement ride. eh. it calms down when i'm near someone i trust.
guess i'm just gonna hold on tight to my manuscript, it has taken on of a human kind of quality...or maybe kaine or able...maybe. but they don't tend to stay still long enough.
well. now that that's settled, now it's filmtalk....filmtalk. that's so hokey.
ok... i have a ton of stuff to edit, and i'm excited to be doing it in japan. it'll be good therapy if i start getting homesick.
i just got a mind shot of HS typing teacher. he was also a coach, baseball. he said, 'as fast as you type here, it's as fast as you'll ever type' whatever! that's a lie. i'm wayyyyy faster than i was in his class. sheesh. that can mess someone up! maybe, or for a while at least. i believed him for a second, then i knew the truth. no connection to him, but with that being said...
i think i'd like to be a professor. i do like teaching. but maybe not in the traditional education system. i think i'd also like to start a university. or some sort of private school of thought. i think it'll be good.
i think a lot of things will be good. but now i have to focus on the book. mainly because i have no choice. it's maybe better that i'm flying solo...i think i'll get more done this way. which is good and nice and all...but not nearly as tasty.
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