condenstion

totally not a word. 

but what i've been doing (more) of is condensing. i've put the novel on hold. and i'm going to get to a stopping point with the illustrated book. i'm considering still moving forward with the illustrated one, but i need to make more room for painting. i think i actually need to wipe everything out that isn't painting. i just feel like it's what i need to do, like i'm ordained or smth. and i'm all about the gut, following the instinct. and i'm afraid, lol. like if i don't follow it, that i'm going to be guaranteed to fail. i've had this problem for years, multiple interests and nothing getting done. a little work here, leave it alone, work on smth, come back to it, etcetcetc i gotta concentrate. 

here's a link to my deviant page:

http://jt-hendrix.deviantart.com/

Fine-tune Sketching

Catching up has been hard to do! Not too hard, just challenging, and from the looks of it, lengthy! But maybe this is just how it is, and that's not bad at all. 

I started by doing some sketching.

I just went online to find a figure reference, and one of the first images was this guy there. You can probably find the original picture of him online pretty easily lol. I chose him because he had a good form, but also because he was male. Most figure drawing tends to use female references. I wanted a guy, I wanted to draw a guy who could be sexy too. I felt that it would be a lot more interesting.

The second one is kinda gross, but it's true. I went for whatever was in my head at the time. And I think I had just taken a piss, and this was it. My thoughts about my piss. lol. I think it turned out to be pretty interesting. 

Most of my sketchbook has pretty "finished" sketches. One of the things I'm working on now is to do quick sketches. Ones that take 5minutes or less, of things, without much additional detail. It's totally stuff I've done before, but now my approach has become more focused and concentrated because the way I've set it up, is to go into each piece with very many studies and to sketch daily along the way in hopes of tuning my existing skills further, and in hopes of learning and applying new techniques. 

So, I have a painting that I've had in mind for a while. The way I'm going about it is to sketch the painting, in different compositions quite a few times. So from this, composition comes up, so I do some quick-refreshing on composition. YouTube videos, articles and practices. 

Then I take each component and do studies on it, with pencil and or with pen. And then I take that study and then paint it. Through these practices I think about the things that go towards this thing that I'm studying. Color theory? Shading? Perspective? Things like that. Then I go and study a little bit about the things involved, and then I go back to making small bits of progress towards the final painting. 

My weakness is speed. And dedication. I find that days can go by in between painting sessions. Painting is my primary focus, but right now other things, literary things, are being finalized, and once those things are finalized and get to being sent out, I'll be able to free up more space for painting every night. Hmm. Sounds like an excuse. lol

I'll talk more about those "literary things" in the next posting, along with a few more pictures from my sketchbook.

p a i n t i n g

Hi :o)  

So the last time we were together, I was about to start painting again.  And I did.  But it had been so long, about six months and a move, I didn't realize that I didn't have all of my materials unpacked. Well, maybe they're unpacked but they're in a location unknown lol.  I have the basics...some oil (walnut), my brush kit and (most of) my paint.  But what's funny about my paint is that white and black weren't in there.  I mean, not so bad, but eventually I'm going to be needing those things lol.  

So I started to search and rummage throughout the apartment.Fortunately, I was able to score my white, it was in the drawer of my French easel.  Now all i need to do is find black.  But it's not bad because it's way easier to get by without black than without white.  You can just mud up something to darkness, but how do you make the light? Set fire to it? Never mind.  

Anyways...lol, just my bizarre sense of humor there.  

Painting in a new place is always interesting.  You get in there and figure out what's going to go where, what's not going to fit, what's ok to get dirty that's nearby and what's not.  These things are mainly factors in home, makeshift studios.  When you have your own place to paint, nothing really matters.  Your clothes are there, change into them, and when they get worked it doesn't really matter unless it's some sort cross-contamination to your outdoor gear.  But there aren't computers and home-stuffs that can just transfer not-drying-for-a-really-long-time paint all over the place.  

It's pretty good at my place, except for ventilation.But that's a a problem almost anywhere besides somewhere pretty airy.  Here, we don't open windows, and the place is relatively small. So to me, it's intense.  I guess I measure the intensity by level of smell I smell vs the amount of smell that could exist (or not) in a place that has great ventilation.  So, it is what it is.  

Another challenge I'm having, and pretty much will always have at home are pet fur and dust.  Houses are dusty compared to studios. Even if you keep it clean, the nature of the place just is dirty, I think this is mainly because houses are lived in.  All of that human filth just becomes part of the atmosphere.  Along with pet stuff.  Part of the territory.  I'm trying out places to store works in progress. Right now, my place of choice in on the top of a pretty tall bookshelf. Stay tuned on that whole...situation~

Reverting Back

I've done all of the exploring that I've needed to do. I've changed houses,done some other work,and now I've reached the finale of my pseudo mini-vacay.  

So now I think is a good time to start on our journey together. I'm really sorry though,I got a bit of a head start. I lost ten pounds ;o) That's the other part of what's going on. See,I had to get my partying out of my system. And,I couldn't start on a Saturday night,and so by the looks of this calender day,I still have one good night left. And I also had to do a little bit more gaming. Isn't it crazy that this is the first Call of Duty that I haven't been in on since the first day? Call it a sabbatical. I'd better reaching some sky-high type enlightenment for all of this. This isn't one of the fun-monk moments. Not at all. It's actually making my stomach turn a little bit when I see all of the pro's tweets. I know they're excited. Sheesh,a little off-topic,but being forced to play Ghosts,exclusively,for an entire year? Woah. I mean,I had to switch between BO2 and the newest installment just to make the moment last.lol.

But back to what I was saying,I can stray,so be careful. But as I was saying, I have one good night left. So it's been COD3 and Skyrim,and I'm thinking maybe,if I'm fortunate,I'll be back on the wagon. And, with some new "inventory". I figure I'll do some abstract stuff. Some people are really into abstract art. I like doing it, so it tends to work out relatively well. You'll see some pictures later on tonight, so stay tuned ;o)

a concentrated story

i've been working on a graphic novel, and then i had some side-stories to add to it.  and then i got another idea for another chapter for it, which would be a second book.  each book is a chapter, but since they're graphic, each chapter makes more sense as one book.

so i have this idea.  it was something i've been thinking about for a while, and it's a bit dark, but it's the perfect idea for a novel.  i've started a few novels over the past 5 or so years, around 3 of them i've started.  but the most recent one, the one i wrote like a years' worth of notes for, i started.  got the farthest in that i'd ever gotten before, but then i just got lost in the story.  it wasn't just writer's block either.  i just realized that i really had no plot.  i had so many characters and areas that i loved so much, but i had no story.  and the story i was trying to force was really complicated, and the places that were involved were all really complicated and would have had to have had a ton of research behind them all in order for them to have even made any sense.  i had characters in paris, and i've been to paris, but describing the streets that they were taking would have been massive research.  so compound that with israel, japan, and jamaica, and it would have just gotten out of hand....lol, at least out of hand for me.  

but the stories i'm working with now are a lot easier for me.  the first one is the main one of the graphic novel, and the second one is the main one for a book.  

the second story is really comprehensive and it's definitely not as complicated, and i definitely have a plot for it.  i'm excited to get started on it, and i think it's going to be really successful, probably one of my successful pieces ever.  and having considered it for some time, i reached a cool milestone with my writing because for a while i was having a tough time getting the concept of a plot.  i would think of a lot of interesting premises and characters, but to have a story, with direction and an end didn't come to me at all.  until now....phew.  that was close lol

Lost.

i'm wondering, for anyone who's been reading my posts for a while, if they're feeling like they're reading the same thing over and over.  i feel like i've been doing the same things over and over.

i have the same ideas, and the same interests, i write them out, explore them a bit and then move in the same circular way that i did over and over before.  i really don't mean to.  i mean to come here to document progress, to share ideas and i would love to start a dialogue with any of my readers.  i'd really love to find a community of people who create things to be able to interact with.  

but i don't stay on one thing for very long.  i think it's because i think i need more time to put towards the things i'm interested in.  i've tried to just do the thing i'm most interested in, and that's painting, but it's a bit of a process to get into and out of each session, and i think having a newborn and a 2 year old, i'm already severely overwhelmed by just my home life.  

i'm also interested in writing, sketching, inking, and making films.  and i'm really doing nothing more than posting youtube videos from my phone.  lol, that definitely doesn't feel like enough.  and i see these artists, who are sooo good.  and i think, yeah!  i just need to focus on practicing.  i just don't know what to do.  it all just feels like a pity.  but, things i can definitely overcome pretty easily.  it's not like i'm not trying.  i just haven't gotten it right yet.  

sidetrack on webbage...

*PREVIOUSLY-WRITTEN, SAVED DRAFT...published just for kixxx*


a little update on the things i've been working on....i'm trying to make my website a little more interesting and a little more dynamic, so i've been looking towards animation, i think that i've already mentioned that, but i'm actually not sure.

but starting out in animation, is pretty tough.  maybe because i've approached it by beginning to learn programming first, but maybe there's another approach that could go alongside learning programming, since programming seems to be a lifelong relationship.  i've gone back to learning off of lynda.com, and i've started the courses through mit courseware,  but i'm most likely only going to have my subscription to lynda for the next month, so i'm considering just doing an intensive there of all of the things that i'm interested in and then at the end of the subscription month officially starting the courses, in the kinds of time slots that they were intended to be in.  

Part II....Where are you, but I'm M.I.A. too....

woah tiger!  part II is coming...i think i can promise that without becoming a liar. but i think this is more about spring (fall/winter) cleaning.  my house is going through it, along with my mind.  and my car!  should i be ashamed, i hope not, and i really don't think so because i'm still making progress, i'm still on the way, it's just that there's a bunch of stuff that's cluttering my space, so the time used in getting all of that nice and open is worth the time.  

in the RFC, we travel on two roads, parallel roads that are both going to the same place, in the same direction.  both are about getting there, and making progress, just one road is more geared towards the academic, and the other is more about fine art.  so, we've been diligently traveling those roads.  

myself, i've been continuing to study japanese, and have started studying it along with 4 other classes via MIT OpenCourseware.  it's kind of an awesome program, highly recommended!  and i've also been continuing along, rockily, with the illustrated novel.  but i got sidetracked because in the process of updating my site, which is about just as badly behind as my blogs, i wanted to do more with it.  more more more, like billy idol.  that's what's on, in my turtle beach earbud....btw, thank you turtle beach for this awesome gift!  but, yeah.  i wanted to do more with my site, i wanted to add some movement, which led me to thinking about learning flash, which led me to thinking about programming in general.

so i got a little detoured.  and now, i can't decide whether or not to leave it alone or add it in, but i'd like to see more distinct progress, but i'm really interested in learning programming.  what to do?  i don't know.  

so that's the kind of stuff that'd been happening.  nothing, but something because it's clearing the way for more things, but essentially nothing is the category of finished projects.  but i've gotten my lists updated, and a new planner, a new phone with new scheduling agents and listers.  so today, it's update blog 1 & 2, update my YT channel, and updating my website.  then, tonight, when i get home, it's journal about my past year...because i've also been behind on journaling, and then some writing about what i'd like to have come.  and then an evaluation on my wants and goals....that part in efforts of reducing...or better yet, refining the load to be more streamlined and specific...and then at the end of all of that a new plan.  a few years out, goals, and a proposed way of getting there in good time.  

so.  now onto updating blog 2....telling the man to SUCK IT.  adios!

stay tuned for part II, but for now~

still k.i.t. for those pictures to go along with that nibs and inks post, i hadn't been able to find my camera for a while and while i was packing my backpack to go out and do some work, i'd discovered it at the very, very bottom.  it's been over 3 weeks since i'd seen it!  i looked in every bag i'd taken out, in drawers i thought i might've randomly put it in, and then i figured that it was just lost.  

that triggered me to look for a new camera! lol....i was like, 'eeeh, why not??'  i'd been wanted to be able to create higher-quality videos anyways.  i started looking for SLR's and DSLR's....most i found were waaaaaaaaaay out of my price range.  i only wanted to spend $100 or less, i know, hardly anything, but i only wanted to go up a couple of levels because my vids with what i had weren't too bad, but what pushed me a little closer (away) from still using it is that when i went to edit some recent footage, i noticed that there was a ringing in the audio.  i know i could've cleaned that up at least a bit in editing, but that's just surface buff.  and i'd noticed some streakiness there too.  it could've been from the sunlight coming through the window that i was sitting near, but still.  you know?  these things should be just cool, that's what i was thinking.

so i started looking some more, and i started veering towards point and shoots.  and something that shot in HD.  i saw a couple of things, lots a couple of auctions.  then i added camcorders and video cameras to my hunt.  i'd found a few there, bought a buy it now mini-cam....it came, it didn't work, i sent it back and i'd also put in a best offer bid, but as i did that i found one that i liked even better.  

i was in a work meeting when there was 5 minutes in the auction.  i got the stink eye from my boss when i looked in my phone to check up on it.  i got the look, saw that there were 4 minutes, so i got up from the meeting, went around the corner in the hallway, and started bidding.  first bid, outdone, next, immediately outdone.  one second left, on my phone, delayed reaction, desperation bid, 1 sec goes away immediately as i hit confirm, the auction ended.  i was the high bidder :o)

it's a canon camcorder, FS200.  a little old-school,it came out in 2009, but it has a mic-input jack and it records sound in stereo, and it also has HD capabilities. never mind.  i just learned that it's standard definition.  well, that's a little disappointing. rrr...lol.  nevermind.

i can put it on a tripod, it has nice digital and optical zoom. it was $56 & $10 shipping.  originally it was around $400.  also, i don't have a camcorder now.  so i found my camera.  gonna try to milk that a while longer while i put some good use into this camcorder, and i just got a new (used) phone.  an LG G2x.  

the G2x has an 8mp camera just like the samsung point and shoot that i have (just found), the samsung has 8.1mp.  but the G2x has HD capabilities, 640x something on the samsung, and 1920x1080 on the G2x.  so my phone has the best resolution of them all, haha!  ridiculous, but also very good too, i'm very thankful for that.  and the point and shoot was a gift, and the canon has great sound, and i can use a tripod with it.  and a mic if i wanted.  

so my next videos are going to be a combination of all of these. maybe a few reviews or walk-throughs/demos w/commentary to start out.  and!  those pictures of the inks and nibs.  the (???) is coming along well!  i'm not really sure what to call it.  it's not manga, but manga is what it's closest to being.  it's not an illustrated novel or novella, and it's not a comic.  i guess, maybe illustrated short stories?  well, i guess that's it for now.  it's going well, i'm working through the layouts now.  setting the panels, i just finished rewriting and doing a little reworking to the narration, so now it's the first rough draft of how it's going to be set up.  maybe i'll take some pictures of that too :o)  

stay tuned!  on the way home to pick up the new canon-mail and see how it goes!  take care :o)

jt 

the g-pen is king

since having started on a sort of illustrated novel/american manga/comic type of book, i've concentrated on practicing pencil-work and pen-work. 

with all of them, i've been using everything i have, and buying a little bit of what i didn't have before.  i had all of the basic sizes of milli (multi-liner) pens, and i really wanted some copic ones, so i bought the fine set of those, going down to .005.  i had other brands going up to 1.0 and small brushes.  

i already had some nibs (dip-pen tips) but i had never owned a g-pen before.  really, i never looked into what the manga-norm was, i was using primarily multi-liners and when i did dip, i used a range from mapping to what the japanese would call as seiji.  i think that's how it's spelled.  but it's the one that flares out into a traditional, old-style kind of shape.  when i heard of the g-pen, i was thinking that it couldn't be much better.  especially since i had bought an extension set to go with my already-owned mapping.  but what i found, is that the g-pen is king.  no exaggeration.  

the g-pen has a much sturdier feel, and you can use it in a lot more directions than most pens.  including flipping it over and using the top to make thin lines, the ink still flows pretty easily when you use it this way.  it also holds more ink, and uses the ink more efficiently, without accidents or mistakes.  other nibs tend to run out of ink a lot faster, like a super amount faster.  the g-pen goes on for a really long time!  it's pretty amazing.  you don't get interrupted by having to reline certain areas or dipping so often.  

and with inks...i've used 3 types at the same time for now, to test them out compared to each other.  i'm away from home, so once i get back, i'll take some pictures and go into more detail about them.  also, i'll do the same about the nibs.  

i haven't used manga paper, i've never really concentrated on an illustrated novel the way i am now.  but what i've always liked has been really heavyweight, mixed-media papers.  also, not too smooth on the surface.  my least favorite kind of paper for anything is lightweight, ultrasmooth.  i can't even use that stuff.  except for writing notes ;o)

so, stay tuned for part II a little later on when i get home and can get some pictures up!

the current project equals many of the ideas combined

for the past while i'd been struggling with what to work on.  i get many ideas, but when it comes to concentrating on them, i have an incredibly tough time.  but i feel that if i were to concentrate on one, i'd be in good shape.  especially if i were to continue with that momentum.  

should i even talk about what i'm working on now?  well, i will...i guess it's an american manga.  it's more along the lines of how manga is, being more personable to the characters and the story and a little less dialogue, but it's not in japanese, and i'm not japanese, so i can't really say that it is manga.  and it's not like a traditional american comic, like when a team is working together on different parts of the project en whole, or like how american comics tend to be more about the overall story and everyone involved and having (in general) more dialogue.  

i'm in the coffee shop.  all i can think, and all i've been thinking lately is that people are strange.  am i this strange?  or, at least, do i come off as being this strange?  

but yeah.  i wanted to write a book, and continue sketching, and tell a story.  i was thinking about telling the story really through a short film about atlanta.  and then sketching for practice, and continuing to write the book.  and paint.  but for many years i've been getting lost in my ideas.   think i need to ask one of my painter friends about this.

https://www.facebook.com/merrillfineart

  he and i had this conversation a few years ago, about creative types who have many ideas, usually at once, and getting bombarded by them.  

but now i'm concentrating.  i have an ongoing homework list that i work diligently on, so i figure that if i keep on, that i'll make it through.  

where'd the wagon go?

i fell off so far back ago that i don't even see the wagon anymore.  you know how it's supposed to go, fall off the wagon and then you get back on.  well, i don't even know where the wagon went.

so i hitched a ride on a random-wagon.  maybe it's a new one that i built myself, maybe it's a metaphoric or quantum-physical kind of wagon?  maybe it's imaginary?  it's real enough that i'm on it, i feel that i'm on it, so it has to be real.  a kind-of wise-man told me the day before yesterday that perception is reality.  so this wagon o mine is definitely real, so i'm beyond perceiving it, so it's beyond reality then.  that is so deep.  that's how my waggin rolls.  it's real!

so now that i'm here, i have the same goals as before.  i'm just not moving ahead very well.  focus!  ~on one thing that is.  i have thoughts about a short film, very short 0 budg'.   but it seems really interesting, at least interesting to work on, especially with all these awesome programs that i have!  updating my blogs..err....updating my site...err, don't go there yet.  maybe if i re-pay for my hosting i'll be more prone to updating since my ads will be gone.  i just feel like re-doing the whole thing, but you know there's like 10years of material in there.  i've had that site up since....2001?  man.  maybe 2002.

painting has taken priority seating, but the prob is that most nights i'm worn out!  bad excuse, but setting up and breaking down are a little time-consuming, and by the time family stuff is done, it's about an hour before i have to get up and go do everything again, and really, during that (literal) hour of silence, i wanna lay it horizontal because a preggo person is def a tired person, esp w/a hubs and a 16monther running around.  literally.  running.  around.  running around.  running all around.  seems like he's never, never stopping.  so how to solve this dilema?  crack it one code at a time?  and when does gaming come in?  i just bought this DS and like 10 fresh games ready to be saved up.  and persona is waiting on the PSP and this weekend is COD double XP and the new maps come out next week.  i guess it's priorities.  and chipping away, cracking those codes.

Oil Paint Palette: 2013 JTW

i stopped painting for a while, then i started again, then i moved to SK and then stopped again.  since being back in my family's home city, and being settled back in, i've started again.  but i noticed that the palette that i had, the paints that were in my kit, weren't really going where i needed them to go.  and by a kit, i mean 'my' kit, not a pre-packaged one that i bought somewhere, but this is one that i've developed over the years.  some things have made it through, a couple just came and went.  didn't really need those things.  i'll do another blog on my kit in one of my upcoming posts.  but in my kit, like i was saying, my paints weren't thorough enough.  

i didn't have enough earthiness, and i also didn't have enough contrasts and darks.  lights were easy to achieve, because of white, but it's not quite the same in the other direction by just using black.  i noticed that my paintings had a very common hue throughout all of the colors.  and one other problem with the lights, is that white doesn't necessarily mean 'bright'.  and 'brighteners' like yellow, or something else that you may have that is bright, doesn't always work because it stands a chance of it altering your color.

most likely, a very talented or experienced painter, can overcome color challenges.  and at the very least, someone who's very skilled in color theory.  or, maybe it's impossible without the right colors to begin with.  i'm still working on color theory, but i decided to go for a very good, solid and basic palette to (re)begin with.

i started doing some research, and it wasn't easy to find illustrated and described palettes.  but i did find one that was very helpful, and about two others that were pretty good too.  i don't remember where it was or who it was, but if you've been looking, most likely you've run into his (i think it's a guy) page, meaning the one that was really helpful.  if i run into it again, i'm definitely going to pay homage, because between his site and about 2-3 others, i was able to really narrow down which paints i was looking for (in my mind) and which ones i may have been looking for but needed to avoid or at least find an alternative for because they were toxic.  i had a teacher, a painting teacher in college, who got cancer because of all of her years using paints that were (naturally, or maybe a better word is traditionally?) made with toxic ingredients.  

all of the colors i've listed have at most a moderate toxicity.  only a few.  read the tubes when you get them, the cancer warnings will be there, and research will tell you where on the scale they fall.  and if they're too far up there, you may want to decide against working with them at all.  and a warning, sometimes it's heartbreaking ;o)  at least mildly.  because a couple of the colors that i was looking forward to the most were too toxic for my taste and ultimately i had to decide against them and/or return them.  

and so now, here's the list :o)

I've abbreviated the manufactures names down to: 
DRG, W&N, & G...a paint by Maimeri Puro is also on the list

REDS:
DRG: Naphthol Crimson #512
W&N (AOC): Alizarin Crimson #004
DRG: Cadmium Red Deep (Hue) #504

ORANGES:
DRG: Cadmium Orange (Hue) #619
W&N (WOC): Cadmium Yellow Deep (Hue) #46

YELLOWS:
DRG: Chrome Lemon (Hue) #627
W&N (WOC): Cadmium Yellow Pale (Hue) #8

GREENS:
DRG: Sap Green #375
DRG: Terre Verte (Hue) #379
W&N (WOC): Veridian (Hue) #43

BLUES:
DRG: Prussian Blue #135
G (AOC): Cobalt Blue #P049G
W&N (WOC): French Ultramarine #21, Series 5
W&N (WOC): Cerulean Blue (Hue) #10

EARTHS:
G (AOC): Raw Umber #P172G, Series 1
W&N (AOC): Mars Violet Deep #395, Permanence AA, Series 2
DRG: Burnt Umber #223
W&N (AOC): Burnt Sienna #074
Maimeri Puro: Mars Red #248
G (AOC): Raw Sienna #P171G, Series 1
W&N (AOC): Yellow Ocher #744

PURPLE:
DRG: Cobalt Violet (Hue) #406

WHITE:
DRG: Titanium White #009

BLACK:
DRG: Ivory Black #034

Value is the relative lightness or darkness of a color.  And Hue is the color itself.  Red is a hue, Green, etc....the common theory is that all hues can be generated or mixed from different combinations of the 3 main primaries, Red, Yellow, & Blue.  So, earlier I mentioned that a lot of my paintings had the same hue, but they also had the same value.  I wasn't getting the contrasts that I was looking for in addition to having a lot of the same color scales happening over and over.  A lot of that are my shortcomings as a painter, because masters and really skilled painters can do some pretty awesome things.  But also like I said before, I wanted to make sure that I was at least starting from a point that was a good basic foundation of colors.  

If you notice, in my 'new' palette, I have the warm and cool of every color, and in a few colors, I have a couple more in addition to those.  Not many though.  Since I'd consider myself not so good nowadays, I wanted to hold back on having so many colors that it would be a crutch.  I'm still working on color theory, and being familiar with colors in general has always been very important to me.  

So I hope this helps you!

Please leave a comment if you'd like to talk about some things,

I'm still working with this palette,

so there may be some additions to this post 

in other posts.

And please be on the lookout for 

that post about my kit.

I think it'll be especially helpful for beginners,

but also helpful for anyone with a brush :o)

Take care

:o)

Hello?

I just took a look at my entry dates, and oy!!, it's been a whilllllle...on both blogs. But just like my youtube channel, i'm going renegade style. On my phone, on the train. You could see the footage.

What have I been doing?? Btw, i'm asking myself that. Nevertheless....

I forgot to take a picture before I left home, but coming up in the next post is a pretty cool palette breakdown,i spoke about it before. I have about 22 colors on my plate, oil paints that is, and they're looking like a pretty harmonious set. Good hues, and good saturation.

I have them all laid out and listed, and within each example white is also included. You'd be surprised at how much a color can change once you've added write to it. Stay tuned :o)

In the past two months, i've also scrapped one book and started on two others. One is an illustrated narrative, and the other is just a  (way) better version of the original novel that I was working on. Maybe i'll put a few pages up here? So exposing!
A good friend of mine just sold one of his scripts, for about 80K. He never sold before because of the exposure. I'd been trying for years to just get them printed and at least go for a literary agent, but he's a sensitive guy when it comes to his scripts ;o) but he took the plunge, and now he's gotten a little broken into the exposure ;o) and this script wasn't even his masterpieces. Or, rather, one of his better works. He did it on purpose like that,lol. Funny guy!

now he's about to invest into a married couple of friends of his, and has a little more room to think. I'm really happy for him...  :o)

Maybe one day, i'll get a breakthrough?? It would be nice to get recognized in a good, significant way. But now i'll just concentrate on getting the work done. 

Stay tuned!
:o)

Painting Again, Opening Thoughts & Starter Info

and yes i am!  i am painting again!  well, not NOW, but i'm definitely in preparations.  did i mention that i finished Modern Warfare II's campaign last night?  felt pretty good.  

anyways.  so, i've been thinking. what could my meal ticket be?  hmm...prostitution?  noooo!  painting???  maybe.  haha!  just kidding, sorry...just my off sense of humor...it's very off.  but funny!  to me...lol

so, i've just been thinking in general that i needed to start painting again.  it's something that i'm happy that i can do, and i figured that i was abusing that privilege and not really trying to reach my potential by not doing it.  like anything and everything else, but i'll just keep on about painting.  

so, i figured i ought to be in practice.  i always didn't paint because i didn't want to have anything less than awesome be my final project.  but now i've overcome that fear.

so...sosososo, i've been climbing up the ladder, making preparations, getting things together.  here's a link to my new artist's nest:  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pw0LGWy6Ygs&list=UUjj-hhYZ010ICDXEFzhyT5w&index=1

so i've been reassessing the things i have...my brushes, my solvents, gessos, and especially paints.  i did a lot of research about what paints and brands were best for beginners.  i'm not a beginner, but i had also never tried to go for a 'logical' palette.  and i mean a palette that had logic...for example...

what i learned for the ultra-beginner, or ultra-low budget, was to only have black, white, and a warm and cool of each primary.  

then i learned that what i was using all time had been student paints.  i got rid of half my paints bout 3 years ago, so maybe more of them were pro, but about 75-80% of what i had was student. 

and i was ok with student.  but i wanted to see what more pro paints would be like.  so i combined what i had, with what my research yielded and went to michael's arts and crafts because i had and they give awesome 40-50% off coupons.  

i know that michael's isn't the rolls royce of the finest artist supplies, but they have pro colors, two brands of them.  and that all worked for me.  

later i'll have a swatch canvas of everything i have.  i saw another artist's site as i was doing my research, and it was really useful.  i'll also go into my conclusions about how i was going to buy what i bought in that article too.  

i also learned more about toxicity during my purchases.  i purchased some things, THEN saw that they contained lead.  i know about lead, and i have a baby, so all that wasn't happening.  but then i learned about other toxic ingredients.  i researched them, and a LOT of people, most in fact, take these toxicities lightly.  like lead, etc...and i probably would too if my painting professor in college didn't get cancer from her oils.  skin cancer.  too much contact over too many years.  downplay it if you want, but ALL carcinogens are real.  and combine enough in your body, it's no good.  

so i returned two of my paints that had lead in them.  others i initially avoided because i already knew, but the ones that i saw on the tube after the payment i took back.  unbleached titanium, which i was really disappointed to do and yellow naples...also mildly disappointing.  and with the money from the two and a little more i got the ever-popular cobalt blue.  but then, i saw the warning on THAT bottle and i was like nooooooooooOOOOO!!!  

but then i did a little in-store renegade research and saw that it was down on the list from lead, so i decided to keep it since i had others that were like half as toxic.  no more after these, i don't think but the ones i have will make the cut.  here are some helpful links to pages that helped me get to these conclusions:

http://www.listmyfive.com/303c84c9/The-Top-Five-Poisonous-Oil-Paint-Pigments

http://captainpackrat.com/furry/toxicity.htm

http://carolineroberts.blogspot.com/2009/01/toxicity-of-pigments.html

these are definitely informative.  and until next time, good times. 

The Process

Obviously, things haven't been working out for me, artistically. I've been thinking a lot about it, but hardly getting a thing done.i spoke to a good friend today,a writer friend, and the convo was really helpful. He's written, to me,a ton of screenplays. I'm more of a novelist, but his words still very much applied. See, my issue is starting,i get defeated very easily by my work, at least in recent years.  He (cb) told me about another friend of his and how disciplined she was...we spoke about her for a while &i was very impressed. All details aside, her effort is the shining star, not anything else at this point in the work. And that's the battle.

So, let's see what I make.you guys hold me accountable ok? No more discouragement because I don't look like italian baroque (yet) or that i'm not some literally genius (yet? Haha) like the murakami-sans...

I'm me, and i WILL push fresh work!

p e r f e c t o (?) m u n d o

a few years ago, a friend...an artist friend and i, were talking about artistic processes. how very talented and creative people often have a whole lot of ideas, and that the key for these types of people was to concentrate on one thing at a time.  

i'm not saying that i'm uuber talented or creative, but the advice was for me because i was having such a hard time developing a collective, and more importantly, completed body of work.  

that was over 7 years ago.  and i'm still having the same problems now.  i have a list of written work, illustrated work, illustrated written work, painting ideas, video ideas, short film ideas...to do, and that i want to do.  i even have motive.  that it could really be a nice body of work which represents my new portfolio.  and that could be my way to having more commissions or freelance jobs, things like that.  which i'd like....i think it'd be productive and interesting.  

so i have this list of things to do, but it's like i don't know where to start, or maybe i just don't want to start at all?  i can't figure it out.  and when i'm working on one thing, it feels like i'm wasting my time, like if i'm not doing everything at once, i'm not getting enough done.  

however, the biggest challenge is that i want everything to be perfect.  like if the story doesn't sound like murakami or nabokov (not like, but as good) then i'm over it.  if my painting doesn't look like baroque, i'm over it.  

i guess, by rereading this, that i need to have an end-point in mind.  a point to the piece that i'm working on, a vision of what it is when it's finished.  

a solution!  that's exciting...and 

concentration

you see that guy?  he's concentrating.  

that little guy up there is kaine.  he's definitely a concentrator.  and even though it's 1:05 in the morning, and i'm just starting in on an americano so i can finish this, i'm concentrating.  

i set a goal.  a goal to post to the blog (now blogs, i decided to update both weekly) and post a new you tube video every other week. so one week, a video, the next a blog post. and it's all taking a good bit of concentration.

like a lot of you know, i just had a little baby not too long ago.  and figuring out our 'new' life has DEFINITELY taken a LOT of concentration.  i have all of these goals, and checklists and things like that that i need to do, but now my hands are constantly full.  at first i was very frustrated.  but i can't give up, i won't say that i don't know how, but i will say that it's an impossibility.  maybe i don't know how.  i just figure that we all do know how, it's just whether we can or not.  i can't. so i kept trying, especially, with the super awesome love fro my husband, and all of his suggestions an efforts to keep me happy.  happy meaning, still being able to work on the things that i feel define me, happy because i feel like i'm not a stagnant artist/writer.  i'm especially happy that i can continue trying.  

but like i said, and keep learning...it takes concentration.  so i've been going to cafes around home, for a few hours at a time here and there to work on getting into a mode.  developing a way, a schedule, or something that'll help me achieve our goals.  

my most recent discovery is taking away time in my daily schedule.  i've developed a daily schedule, that includes my top 5 things that i want to do in a day. for example:

1st Check emails

return emails, clean junk & trash folders, etc

2nd Check *job board*

apply on sites, submit applications, work on submissions 

3rd Apply for other jobs (alt sources)

apply directly (cont until successful)

4th EXERCISE

5th Update

sites, fb, etc

with a baby, it's not a very good feeling to run into a 'time' and you 'can't' do something because you're occupied.  but with numerical priorities, you can do everything in your day that's WAY more of a priority, but still do the other things that are most important.  

that's where i am.  hopefully i'll get a little further soon.  

softboxes, dreamweaver and COD

my first prestige.  hey hardheads, don't rag.  i started on black ops last year...

and for those who hate cod (although i can't understand why...) i hear that most of you are hardcore battlefield and halo fans.  i tried odst, i think i need to try something else.  and i love battlefield, but since our 50incher blew out, i've had to go to the 30something inch. and you know battlefield has a lot of FINE PRINT.  same with forza 4.  ps, i'm on the xbox, so it's forza.  which is cool.  love it long time.  but i'm missing gran turismo.  but the ps3 will be there along with the 50incher fix.  

managing your media is challenging.  i think and i want and i talk about it a lot more than i actually do it.  maybe it is human nature, but it's really more of a dream, or an excuse, you know what i'm saying?

i have aspirations...a lot of them.  see, i was about to list them, maybe even a lot of them, just now, but i saw the list in my head and it was a whole big clump.  a big clump that needs some undoing.  i have this blog, and i have my other one (look me up!) and i have my social sites (look me up!) and my website (www.jtwilliams.org) my site's been down like forever...i have a lot of reasons why, but if i really (really) wanted to, it'd be current.  yeah, current...so it's not really down (look me up!lol) but still.  i have ads up.  if i was current, i'd be paying.  but i have problems paying for it when i'm not doing it.  but maybe i'd do it if i were paying for it...(?)

i'm thinking.....

yeah, i've heard that if you pay for it, you value it more and are more likely to respect it.  i don't agree with all of it, but i agree with some of it and i think it's EFFED UP.  but for more on why i think it's effed up (with everything else i think is effed up) look me up ;o)  it's on my other blog.

my list is long...and since having a baby (he's 7mo now :o)  i've been shutting down even more quickly lately. shutting down meaning like vegging out.  i can watch youtube videos for hours.  i think it's just a matter of refocusing energy.  but about that list of mine.  see, i'm wanting to talk about the list because that's what this blog of mine is about.  the list!!! 

i'm wanting (sigh, i hate saying that...'i'm wanting' it sucks!) to film regular videos.  i finally got hit with the (massive) list of ideas...but i have to say it's a bit of a challenge now.  if the baby is asleep, i have to be (relatively) quiet...and if he's awake.  that's mission:impossible.  literally.  unless i want baby sounds in there.  and i don't.  and i'm sure you don't either.  i mean, they're cute, but i couldn't work them in the whole time.

and at night it's too dark.  i've been investigating lighting setups.  i've tried a few mini (minnnnni) ones at home but they're too mini.  so i'm looking at softboxes on tripods.  i think that'll make me versatile.

but then there's the 'people' issue.  no privacy.  and i'm a bit shy.  or, i don't know.  but i just want to be alone.  and there's no place for that.  yet, but i don't want to wait.  so i've been (reverting?) to the blog.

i mean, the blog goes with it, it's not some bootleg byproduct or runner-up, but i like the complete package.  i like to see that the machine is working.  right now the engine (my site) is sputtering.  my transmission (video uploads) is nonexistent...but i have my radio, my blog.


(just won an ebay aution!  i mean, i was the only one, that's even better because i didn't feel like having a racing heartbeat right now because then i'd get extra hungry...)

(there's a knitting club (circle?) here in front of me (DIRECTLY in front of me) here at the 'starbuck's' in the barnes and noble that i'm at)

so.  to summarize.  lighting setup...kind of necessary.  day shooting...TBD.  website, in rehab.  since my original laptop (the lab) is down (the backlight went out, just need a screen) and all of my full programs are it, and i'm not working on my mini laptop (a notebook actually) doesn't have a drive and i have no external drive (hmm, add that to the list external hard drive) to install my programs on, i'm opting to go for a 30day trial of the newest dreamweaver. i didn't want the newest.  i wanted 4, which came out like 8 years ago.  see, i wanted to extent my trail experience.  i figured i could go for 4, then in a month, go for 5, then 6.  but the others besides 6 are nonexistent.  it's cool, i just have to repair my laptop sooner than later.  i'm doing it myself, and it's a great chance to get some really cool laptop tools.  my husband and i have plans to develop some gaming systems, so taking laptops apart eventually going to become a new hobby.  but not after i get caught up on my LIFE.  lol...kidding, but you know ;o)

STAY TUNED!  please follow me, it makes me feel good inside :o)  thanks!  

lies & tape

it's been a challenge lately, a lot of stuff has been going on...mainly just re-organization, and now, entirely too much coffee, entirely too late.  so i'm typing.  i've been learning some new software lately, it's called magix.  it's for video editing.  it's a step up from what i usually use, which is windows media maker.  i also uploaded some freeware; audacity 1.3 & xmedia recode.  audacity is for editing & converting audio & xmedia recode is for converting video files....that last one is from germany.  yah!  cool...don't know why, but it's just cool.  anywhere that bmw's come from just have to be cool.

i made a new experimental (see my other sites for those) but it's too long for youtube & the likes.  but this is good because it's pushing me to put it on my site, where it really belongs, especially for it's debut.  i have the media player all cued up, but the plugin is still needing a home, so i'm on the adobe site via dreamweaver on the help forum looking for some help.  i've gotten a reply, so that's good, we just have a little bit more to go.

i gotta go listen to some tunes, part II of this all will be around soon.  stay tuned ;o)